yelp review reviews

http://www.yelp.com/biz/eggcetera-cafe-mokena

Ooh man, they have air conditioning.  Maybe if you weren’t such a frigid …. you would be fine.  You didn’t even wager a guess at the temperature…probably because it was something others would consider normal.  I can’t stand people who can’t stand something like 68-72*F.

So they kept coming back to refill your coffee, you say?  That’s called “good service”.  Ooh, they forgot your silly preference for NOT refilling your coffee?  Yeah, well, it’s a good breakfast place, and those tend to be busy.

You said your food was “great”, but you sounded like you didn’t even want it to be.  Look, I get the whole “balance” thing, but your personal preferences for appropriate temperature combined with that don’t merit taking off two whole stars.  Your food was great, so give them 5 stars and note in the review that it was chilly and they came by your table six times before your food came out.  Also, if you were trying to imply that your food took a while….again, busy breakfast place because their food is great.

Go back to IHOP,

Love,

Sean

atavola hosted a teenage birthday Cooking class on 1/5/12. Six girls participated in the class to make the food that the Birthday Girl had chosen. They all listened, asked questions, joined in to served the food that they then ate together. Not much was left of the roasted chicken and gnocchi ! Thanks Dan, Great Idea; and no clean up.

K.C. knows how to stick it to the man! FUCK A TIP right! I mean, that driver isn’t out busting their butts to get the possible 100 deliveries to the hands of hungry pigs because you are too lazy to put shoes on and leave the house for his health is he? And why is K.C. ordering food from First Bite in the first place? It says they live in Somerville, and that isn’t even in the same zip code! I guess I’d be really pissed at myself if I ordered delivery from a place 25 minutes away, and less pissed at the person on the phone taking the order (who probably didn’t understand what street you were talking about BECAUSE IT IS IN A DIFFERENT CITY.)

I think the sentence in Katie’s first paragraph (I KNOW, MULTIPLE PARAGRAPHS TO SAY “I don’t care for this place, though others like it, wtf!”) is a key indicator for what you are in store for. “I’m no barbeque expert”, and she doesn’t sound like one.

She seems to get upset about the silliest things. All the BBQ joints I’ve been to have the paper towel roll, why does this bother her? Maybe she is a messy towel puller. She should really seek help for that, I believe they have classes for how to pull a paper towel cleanly at a BBQ joint for those who can’t grasp this extremely simple concept at local community colleges.

The thing that really irks me about this review though is her constant comparison to brand names. This is a local restaurant doing their best to provide good honest food in the tradition of classic southern bar-b-que.  Go to Trader Joe’s and Panera, drink your Coke and Pepsi, and brag about how you have a fiance at the same time hurting local business owners with your mindless reviews. At least the owners of Tennessee’s BBQ are giving it a shot, while it sounds to me like Katie is just giving up and giving into mediocrity.

So there have it, someone who doesn’t understand the concept of the restaurant going into way to much detail about things that don’t matter (utensils? ITS A BBQ PLACE USE YOUR HANDS FOR CHRISTS SAKE!), expecting and hoping to feel important.  I bet Katie C. felt real good about herself after writing this review, even though she comes off more snobby than helpful. Thanks…for nothing!

Where is this guy actually reviewing? I’ve been to the Middle East a hundred times, and I’ve seen that scene in Slumdog Millionaire.  They are pretty far apart. Your use of exaggeration at the expense of a staple of the Boston music scene is not appreciated.

Another way to say what Dawn chooses to write in her review would be “I am not Drink’s target audience” and leave it at that.

Would have saved us all a little time.

HAHAH this is the most hilarious review I’ve read in some time. Seems like Josie is from Colorado, and needed a vacation because she couldn’t find enough shit to talk on local places.  Enter Curry House, Indian fast food, in Brookline.  Josie finds that the prices are too high.  I’ve never been to Curry House, but the prices on their online menu seem on par with others in the area. MAYBE Josie is comparing Curry House’s prices to those of a DENVER restaurant, which is just unfair.  And what about Josie’s blue blood causes her to think that this food was more Americanized than other Indian food she was eating?  Perhaps her broad palate was too sophisticated to notice the subtle flavors, or perhaps she was just feeling to snobby to ask for extra spice like the rest of us heat freaks. Just makes you wonder what kinda people are out there reviewing places, and what their credentials are.

I wonder if Heather is aware of Planet Aid drop boxes located throughout New England. I also wonder if Heather has heard of spell check.

Are downtown pubs typically dirty? And is it physical grime or are they just a bit uncouth? While Jacque thinks Coogan’s is a typical downtown pub, it is her review that comes off as the most typical yelp review; lacking in any real substance and completely unhelpful.

Yelp has a few problems, one of them being that people who have a great experience don’t log on to write about it nearly as much as those who feel slighted. And by the way Maiya writes about her life in her two single Yelp reviews, everyone in the world (or Boston at least) is rude to her.   What I want to know is, where are Maiya’s positive reviews? What good things does she have to say about, well, ANYWHERE!? This show show ineffectual Yelp actually is. If it can’t show a balance between what is good and what is bad, what good is it?